Wanna stroke my ferret!

We've stopped buying the weekly TV guide - a grand saving of 47 pence per week (£24.44 a year)!

Instead, Max collects a weekly "Homes & something" freebie from the estate agents round the corner, which has got TV pages at the back...

So, what I'm being deprived of is a weekly dose of "My ferret helped me through sex change" and similar stories that regularly appear in what used to be "our" TV rag. Balmy treatment for the tired mind, after a hard day's work...

What I get in return is pages and pages of properties for sale I'll never be able to afford... Not so balmy for the tired mind...

Might have to resort to shoplifting next. It's either that, or I get my ferret back..